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Part 11 Midnight

Walking downstairs, you soon found yourself back to the empty former study with the screens and CCTV systems. Now, you had time to sit down alone and do some thinking. There were other rooms on the ground floor, but you mostly kept to this study. The extra locks and the blocked windows always made you feel secured.

You sat down before the desk, just a few feet away from where a sleeping bag was spreading on top of another chair. If you wanted to take a nap, said sleeping bag could always be put into some good use. Under the desk, there was also a box of packaged food, and you would always make sure the box got a regular refill after you consumed some of the content.

You had always taken care to make sure you only needed to leave this study as little as possible. The rest of the cabin was cold and frozen in lifelessness; but in this study with its blocked windows and heavily guarded door, you felt secured.  As to the rest of the cabin, they were in most part left empty or sealed off. You only needed to keep a few set of rooms functional for your daily use.

You could have crawled into the sleeping bag and prepared for sleep, or you could have helped yourself with some canned food before you rested; after all, it had been a long day and the time had now gone well past midnight.

However, despite the tiredness brought by an entire day worth of workload, you knew you still had a few small tasks to finish before you could get some real rest. Therefore, you moved yourself towards one of the chairs and sat down before the long table by the wall. There was a set of computer and different set of TV screens being placed on the table. You switched one of the monitor’s screens on.

Once it was on, the screen showed a certain room and this room was occupied at the moment. Through the screen, you could see the small figure of a young man sitting on top of a bed; his head turning from side to side, scanning the surroundings in obvious alarm, as if he didn’t know where he was. You knew that in fact, the young man didn’t, he wasn’t supposed to know where he was.

However, it didn’t take long for the brunette to spring up from the bed suddenly. Then, you watched Saga through the monitor, you watched him ‘exploring’ the room you had prepared for him. You watched him checking the few items within the room—items, which you had thought was necessary and placed them in the bedroom for him. Things that would make him more comfortable than before.

Despite everything you had done right to this point, you had never intended for Saga to suffer; not really, not when it wasn’t for the absolutely necessary. You had even arranged for Saga’s wrists to be bound at the front instead of the back, so the latter would no longer had his arms twisted in painful position. You had cared enough for your beloved to do that.

However, it didn’t take long for you to notice that Saga wasn’t interested in the things you had prepared for him inside his room. All he seemed to be interested in at this moment was the windows, what the brunette clearly thought was a mean to escape.

You saw him made his way to the windows with unsteady steps—nearly threw himself against said windows in desperation once he got close enough. Then, you saw him trying to open those windows, even trying unsuccessfully to break the fences. Much to your relief and satisfaction, the fences covered the windows had remained intact, Saga couldn’t break himself out.

Saga didn’t know it yet, but he was never meant to be able to escape from your control.

You had done everything within your power to possess this beautiful being, Your Saga. You would not let him run loose so easily, not after all the planning and the hard work. You had worked very hard to make sure Saga to be relocated in a room on the second floor, despite the comfort it could offer, was still tightly and perfectly secured enough that it was inescapable for your beloved, to make sure whatever attempt of escape from the brunette would fail.

What you had intended to do was to make Saga feel more comfortable, but you certainly did not intend to let the brunette have anything more than that.

On the screen, you could still see Saga tearing at the fences fiercely, he had tried so a point you realised at this rate, Saga would soon damage his hands, if he hadn’t already.

Poor Saga. Tomorrow, you should find time to get into the locked room and tend to whatever damages Saga had influenced upon himself.

You saw that Saga didn’t show much interest in the comfort you had offered, which you had found disappointing, but you were not surprised. You kept telling yourself you had to be understanding for Saga’s sake. He needed time to adjust. It certainly would take time; but once Saga came around, things would be better, for both of you.

Still, how much you wished Saga would soon come to realise how unwise his action was so he would just stop doing things, which could damage his well-being, the sooner the better. How you wished Saga to realise his attempt to find an escape would be fruitless. Once realising it, he would give up these attempts, wouldn’t he? That was what you were waiting to see.

However, you didn’t intend to stop Saga from struggling—if you wanted it, you could have simply bound the brunette to his bed, making sure he couldn’t move an inch; but you were smarter than this. Instead, you intended to allow Saga to struggle so he would be worn down in the end eventually. Therefore, you kept watching and waiting patiently. It took a long time but it did happen.

Eventually you saw Saga stopped. His body went absolutely still for a moment before it collapsed. Saga fell soundless to the floor as though something in him had been broken rapidly and there was nothing left to keep him upright. His arms fell numbly to his sides. He knelt motionlessly on the floor for a long moment.

Now, you were shifting to the edge of your seat, holding your breath. You knew that was what you had wanted to see and you were about to see it happened. That was what you were waiting for...

Slowly, Saga struggled up to his knees. This time, he no longer tried to tear at the fences; this time, he merely stared at the window before him wordlessly. He didn’t move, he did nothing other than gazing at what was outside of the window, and he stared at it long and hard, until...

A visible wave of shiver shook down Saga’s lithe body, and you could see him lowering his head in defeat. Then, he struggled to his feet before crossing the short distance between the windows and the bed, and then he dropped right on top of the mattress.

Within seconds, the brunette fell asleep. You could tell from how Saga’s limbs relaxed so slowly as he was being dragged deeper into an exhausted slumber. You knew what you had just witnessed; to you, there was no mistake here. Saga had become exhausted by his struggle, so he gave up.

You were not surprised to see Saga would try to escape, you had never expected him to throw his old life away and surrender himself to you so soon. It wasn’t as if you didn’t expect as much, your beloved only needed some...adjustment to make him see things in a new light.

Although the brunette had been rather cooperative when he was with you, still you understood it was too soon to tell what the reason of his obedience was. Saga might fear you, he might become obedient out of fear but you knew better than to expect surrender so soon. You always knew it would take time for Saga to see what was meant to be. It was unrealistic to think he would just give up fighting so easily—not even for you.

You had long been prepared to patiently wait for your beautiful Saga to come around. After all, wasn’t it what love was about?

People were not likely to accept imprisonment without any struggle, Saga’s reaction had showed as much. It was widely acknowledged that in everyone’s heart, there would always be a strong need for freedom; but a few people were willing to admit there was an equally powerful yearning to be bound. It was up to you to exploit this hidden urge to be bound to your advantage.

If you wanted your plan to work, you would need a few tools...something to break down Saga’s defence. It shouldn’t be so difficult. Although human’s mind could be unbelievably strong, but under certain planned conditions, a mind could still be shattered.

You took a moment to turn the thought around in your mind. Once more, you acknowledged to yourself what you had planned to do to Saga. You knew what you had planned was wrong in other people’s eyes. Still, you believed it was what had to be done.

You planned to break something, and then out of what you had shattered, you would rebuild something out of the broken forms. Something that was beautiful, brand new and perfect. Something that would belong entirely to you.

With a small smile, you sank back to your chair, relaxing your sore muscle; it had been a long day, and you also had an equally long night. It was no easy task to look after Saga like this, placing him in where you wanted him to be. It had taken so much concentration, so much work; but it was still a burden you were more than glad to accept.

Fortunately, you were making progresses. Your Saga had been placed nicely into his room; you could expect the brunette would grow fond of the scenery outside of the windows in the future, when he could put his mind into it.

You had already expected Saga’s progress would take time, and beside Saga, you knew you still had something else to consider…

You had to make people stop from reaching for Saga. You had some ideas about how this goal could be achieved, but you still needed to be as careful and well prepared as possible.

Averting your eyes from the monitor, you glanced at a leather-covered notebook at the corner of the desk. The notebook itself was nothing special, just the type you could pick up in nearly every bookstore in the city; but no one could have guessed how important this particular item was to you, and how much this item meant to Saga.

Even Saga himself was oblivious to exactly how important this notebook was to him...More important still, was the fact that no one had ever known this notebook was currently in your possession.

You had discovered this leather-covered notebook from Saga’s backpack. At first, you didn't know what it really was, mistaking it as just a random notebook with schoolwork and footnotes written within. However, after you sat down and turned the pages carefully, you finally realised you had an amazingly useful tool.

By then, you had long realised you were in possession of a notebook, which contented many of Saga's private thoughts, it was almost like...some sort of diary.

You soon found out your Saga wasn’t a regular writer when it came to filling his diary. He didn’t add dates on the pages he had written upon, he didn’t write every day nor did he fill the notebook with his day-to-day affairs as many people did when they wrote in their diaries. Instead, he wrote in a rather incoherent, unorganised manner; as if the brunette was merely talking to himself by writing his thoughts down from one page to the next. The sentences weren’t well constructed and many parts of the writing seemed very disjointed. It seemed like Saga was only dropping down whatever crossed his mind without much planning beforehand.

Disorganised as those writing were, you still saw that they could very well serve your purposes. For you knew that a person’s true feeling would usually be the most revealing when they didn’t plan their writing or speech beforehand.

You wanted to think about how to put this notebook and the contexts within it into some good use. It was too good a chance to miss. You read through the lines and between them. After the countless re-reading, by now you knew most of the texts by heart. Still, there was so much to learn from.

to be continued....
Chapter 10: Façade

Tora had been working late in the university’s computer lab. He was glad that his work was finally over and now he couldn’t wait to go back home. After such a long day, what a bless it would be to be able to change out of his clothes and then go lazying around on the worn sofa of his flat!

It was 9:00 at night and the hallways within the building were empty for most parts. Most students either had left or gone back to their dorms. Therefore, Tora was surprised to catch sight of a lone figure appearing at the end of the corridor he was about to walk into.

Out of instinct, Tora quickly jerked himself backward to hide beyond the wall next to him, hoping that he had hidden himself fast enough so the person at the other end of the corridor would not notice him.

The raven-haired man didn’t know why he would react like this, why he would suddenly sense it was necessary to keep himself out of sight from whoever was approaching. It was something out of pure instinct; his gut feeling was telling him something wasn’t right...  

Fortunately, the corner he was standing in was poorly lit enough that he believed there was a good chance the person at the opposite side would fail to notice his presence.

He waited until he could no longer hear any footstep, indicating that whoever was on the other end of the corridor didn’t walk any further. Then, Tora silently looked out from his hiding place, hoping to find out what was going on.

What he could see was the silhouette of a young male facing a row of lockers. At first, it was easy to mistake the person in question to be merely trying to open his own locker to take something out like most students would do when they wanted to pick up their things. But curiously enough, Tora soon noticed the blond-haired male wasn’t using any key to open any of those lockers.

Thankfully, the other person still hadn’t seemed to notice Tora’s presence since not only he was facing away from Tora’s direction, he currently was also busy checking something amongst the lockers before him. Tora kept watching; and finally, the raven-head third year recognised the other man.  

Tora knew the person standing in front of the lockers was Kohara Kazamasa—also known to his friends as ‘Shou’—one of the star-students from the same faculty of his. They were not friends, but Tora definitely knew who the other student was. Whenever he saw Kohara in the campus, the latter seemed to be forever surrounded by a bunch of friends and classmates, which was the opposite of Tora himself: he only hanged out with a few close friends and didn’t go socialising around unless he had to.

Therefore, it was a bit surprising for Tora to find the star student all by himself, sneaking around on the corridor, acting suspicious as though he was picking locks.

Tora was surprised by his own thoughts. Locks-picking and sneaking around secretly so late at night at the school’s corners, as though he was worried that someone else might see him. That really wasn’t the Kohara Kazamasa he knew.

Then, Tora saw the blond student focus his attention on a certain locker at the top. He stopped, stared up at it, and did nothing but watched it for a long moment; before he grasped the handle of said locker and then began to push at it.

The raven-haired student was even more bewildered, but now there was no mistake: Kohara was in fact trying to open a locker, which didn’t belong to him. However, why would he do this? As far as he knew, Kohara had no criminal record and wasn’t known for behaving suspiciously in the past.

The third year student continued his silent observation as his blond classmate kept on trying to pull the locker’s door free from its frame, without success. Eventually, Kohara sighed and slowly letting out of the handle, giving up.

Then, as if he was suddenly getting nervous, Kohara rapidly turned his head from side to side, checking his surroundings. So sudden was his action, Tora barely had time to duck beneath the shadow, hiding himself from the other student’s sight.

With his back pressed against the wall behind him, Tora could no longer see Kohara, once again had nothing to do but wait. Eventually, he could hear footsteps—this time it was walking away from him.

Slowly, the raven head turned until he had his left side pressing to the wall, and then he tiptoed to the edge of it and peered out, just in time to see Kohara’s silhouette disappearing from the far corner. Still, he waited until the footsteps faded away completely before he left his hiding spot.  

Walking as unhurriedly as he could, Tora made his way to the lockers, and then he stood in front of it to gaze up at one particular locker, the one he thought Kohara had previously tried to open.

This locker was just like the other ones, and like all the other lockers, there was a nametag on the steel-made door. Upon the half-faded nametag of this locker, Tora could read the name printed on it: Sakamoto Takashi.

Why on earth would Kohara try to open the locker belonged to Sakamoto Takashi?

His train of thoughts was broken by the sudden noise of engine starting. The noise pierced through the quietness rather sharply, and it was coming from outside of the windows.

Rushing to the side of the hallway towards where the windows stood open, Tora looked down to the car park outside of the building. What he saw was a black vehicle moving out of the car park before it disappeared behind a line of trees. There was no way for Tora to be certain that it was Kohara Kazamasa driving his car away; still, something told him it was.

Slowly, Tora retreated from the windows. He still didn’t know what he should think. He could only try his best to gather and summarise the very few facts he had just discovered.

His classmate, Kohara Kazamasa, had been lingering on Sakamoto Takashi’s locker when no one was around. He tried to open it, but failed.

Why would Kohara do this? Why would he ever try to do such a thing? Was he just one of those busybodies who got the thrill by lingering around the belongings left behind by a missing person?

None of it was adding up.


Takashi could hardly believe it, but now he was walking upstairs again, leaving the horrid little cell behind. He could only wish he would never be sent back down there again. He knew he would do anything within his power to make sure he wouldn’t go back there.

Wishful thinking; but right now, he would rather believe things were turning for the best, instead for the worse.

His hands were still bound in front of him, with only the short chains in between the cuffs to allow him some freedom of hand movements, and he was still blindfolded. Both of these facts had made walking impossible without aid. Much to Takashi’s chagrin, he had to rely on the nameless kidnapper’s support to climb up the stairs without falling face first to the ground. Plus, he also needed his captor whispering direction to him so he could know when to mind his footsteps, when to stop, when to expect the stairs and when to expect even floor to walk upon.

In fact, he didn’t dare to let go of his captor’s hand the whole time, nor did he have any strength left to walk on his own without having to lean onto the other man’s shoulder for support. It was when he realised the kidnapper seemed to be slightly taller than him and more solidly built. Takashi was once again being made aware of the fact that he was probably no match in strength against his captor, especially not in his weakened status.  

In Takashi’s mind, the kidnapper was a freak, a madman, a monster; but ironically, at this moment he would be hopelessly lost without the other man’s guide.

Plus, the man was guiding him away from his prison cell. Therefore, the brunette knew he must follow, and kept his rebellion at the minimum...for the time being.

Despite being supported, Takashi still found himself sweating. His legs weakened on the knees, his footsteps echoed heavily around him with every slow step he took.

Next to him, the kidnapper slowed his pace, allowing the blindfolded captive to catch up; before he came to a rather rapid stop. Takashi was confused and before he knew what was going on, he was once again being lifted and carried by his captor.

A small cry of surprise escaped his lips, but he was hushed by the man who was carrying him in his embrace.

“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have made you walk up the stairs. I forgot you haven’t gotten better yet.”

The man now talked as if Takashi was only falling ill due to natural causes, instead of being starved hard to death; which Takashi knew only too well it wasn’t the truth. However, there was nothing he could do but to keep himself still and clung to the front of his captor’s shirt; gripping the fabric so tightly that the shirt had to be wrinkled, but if his captor noticed, he didn’t say anything. Therefore, Takashi guessed it was allowed for him to cling to the other man in such a manner.

It was difficult for Takashi to sense his surroundings when he was being carried. Still, the bound youth could tell his captor was carrying him as he walked along a corridor of some sort without passing through any door.

Just when he was thinking about it, the kidnapper made a turn and came to a stop, opening a door and then stepping in.

Takashi tried not to react but he couldn’t stop his head from turning from side to side, as though he could scan his surroundings or at the very least, sense where he was even when he couldn’t possibly do that, given the fact he was blindfolded.

The kidnapper didn’t pause. He didn’t even slow his pace. The man seemed to know quite certainly where he should go. Eventually, Takashi found himself being lowered from the other man’s arms and then—even before the brunette had time to panic—placed on a soft flat surface.

Despite the man’s careful movement, with his hands still bound together, Takashi still nearly fell to lay flat on his back when he was released. However, he was soon caught and righted before the impact. In the end, his captor helped him to sit on the bed with his back against the headboard; with what felt like a few pillows cushioning his upper body from behind.

Takashi should have been relieved, but the uncertainty he was feeling right now had eclipsed whatever comfort he felt by the change of his treatment.

Then, he felt the edge of the bed sank next to him as a weight was being added upon it. He knew what it meant: the kidnapper had sat down on the bed next to him. He held his breath, still not knowing what to expect his captor to do to him, but his doubt was soon answered as he felt someone took his hands; causing the bound man to tense. Instantly, he tried to back away, but once again the other man caught his hands and held them in place.

“Don’t move.”

Those same words again, ordering him not to move. The kidnapper didn’t raise his voice but the icy voice froze Takashi’s movement instantly.

“Come on,” the other man spoke again, this time a bit more softly, “Relax.”

Takashi wanted to plead the other man to let him go, but only strangled gasps left his parted lips. Then, the brunette heard his captor sigh.

“Don’t be so frightened, I only want to change your bandage.”

For a long moment, neither of them moved; but eventually, Takashi willed himself to release bit by bit.

He knew he was doing something probably unwise: trusting a kidnapper’s words. But what other choice did he have? He could only trust his captor wouldn’t try to harm him. He had to. At least, the other man so far had always done what he said he would. He could only wish it would continue.

As Takashi held himself as still as possible, he could feel the kidnapper slowly relaxing his grip on both of his hands. Then, the brunette sensed a slight pressure being added to his handcuffs and then with the faint noise of key turning within keyhole, his hands were freed from the cuffs for the first time.

“Now, don’t do anything stupid. Don’t even think about it. Or I will put them back again; understand?”

Takashi knew what ‘them’ referred to, so he continued to keep still. He was almost glad that he didn’t try to fight back when the kidnapper cut the used bandages off with what seemed to be a pair of scissors. Not only the man could see, he might also had weapons coming in handy. It probably would be wiser to hold still.

His captor worked slowly; the wounds around Takashi’s wrists were treated with care. The old bandage was removed and replaced by new ones.

However, his relief was short-lived because once the kidnapper finished bandaging him; he also fastened the handcuffs back up.

Takashi bit back a groan, he had hoped that somehow the kidnapper would let him be, or even forgetting to put the handcuffs back on. But now it seemed he had been too naïve to wish that his captor would let his guard down so easily.  

So here he was, sitting on an unfamiliar bed with his back against the headboard. He was bound and blindfolded just as before, with his captor sitting casually next to him on the same bed. Now, the other man wasn’t doing anything and it was getting onto Takashi’s nerves. What was the man going to do? What should he do now to save himself?

He could only hear the other man’s breathing. It was close to him as though the man was sitting close by. Takashi couldn’t detect any movement, so he guessed that the kidnapper was simply sitting there at the moment, doing nothing. Why would he do this? Why wouldn’t he leave? Why wouldn’t he say something now? Why wouldn’t he something?

As if his captor could hear his thoughts, the next thing Takashi heard was the soft sound of the other man shifting his weight on the bed; and it was no mistake that he was inching closer towards him.

His breath caught in his throat when he felt the kidnapper landing a hand on one of his shoulders. Takashi’s whole body tensed up instantly, but it didn’t stop the kidnapper to place another hand at the side of his captive’s head, brushing the locks of hair he had found there.

Slowly, the man was combing through Takashi’s hair by using his fingers, whilst his other hand rested on Takashi’s shoulder, a reminder for the latter to hold still.

It took a while before the mysterious man seemed to become satisfied with the state of Takashi’s hair. When the kidnapper was finally done, Takashi heard the man straighten himself and move back, still sitting next to him but not so close anymore.

“You must be hungry, right?”

Takashi was startled when his captor asked him out of the blue. Was he imagining things, or was it really a slight note of concern in his captor’s words? Takashi’s response was a hesitating, careful nod. Despite the hint of concern in the kidnapper’s voice, this question could still be a trap. He knew, with a sinking feeling, that he would soon find out whether his captor’s question was a trap, soon.

The other man didn’t speak, simply stood up and moved away from the bed. Takashi could hear him walking further away, and then there came the sound of something, an object being lifted. If only he could see and learn what it was—

Next, he heard the sound of footsteps walking back towards him. Seconds later, a warm, sweet smelling scent hit him. The scent was getting closer with every step the kidnapper took towards him.

The scent of definitely came off from some kind of cooked food. The promising scent of it made Takashi’s mouth water. His nails digging deep to the flesh of his sweaty palm out of desperation. Goodness, he had no idea he had somehow became hungry again before the scent of cooked food hit him. His captor was bringing him food when he was blindfolded and helpless, just like the last time. For a brief moment, the brunette wondered why he couldn’t catch this welcoming scent after he was carried into this room. Then, he guessed his captor might have covered the food entirely with some kind of dish-cover in order to cut off the scent.  

Once again, a weight was added to the bed; making Takashi know his captor had sat back down. With the man being close, the warm scent of whatever food he carried was now coming off towards Takashi so strongly like it was thick, wet invisible ribbons.

Out of instinct, Takashi blindly reached his bound hands forward, to no avail. But his reaction only earned him a chuckle from his captor.

“Tsk. What have I told you before, dear Saga? Patience. Patience is the key.”

Takashi let his hands to slowly fall back to lay flat on the top of his laps. Without a word, he sat there and waited for the kidnapper’s next move. He didn’t like how there wasn’t anything he could do than biting the inside of his own mouth.

Finally, the order came.

“Open your mouth.”

Again, Takashi obeyed, feeling uneasy to find this time it took him faster to do what his captor had ordered. However, the discomfort was soon brushed aside as he once again felt the edge of what appeared to be a spoon pressed to his bottom lip. Then, at the tip of his tongue, he could finally taste warm thick liquid seeping down. He figured it must be some sort of heated up soup, and it tasted just...wonderful.

He quickly sipped his first mouthful down his throat. Then, he opened his mouth again, eagerly waiting for more; and his captor didn’t deny him from getting nutrient.

In between sipping the warm liquid with his tongue, swallowing and waiting, Takashi had no idea how much time had passed. Still, given Takashi’s situation, it was still a small pleasure to feel slightly full in the stomach.  

He had never known what a blessing it was to be able to simply eat; to simply grip some kind of food and consume them whenever you felt like it, before this happened. There were many things he didn’t know before. How important it was to be able to see things. How terrible it was to lose your ability to simply use your hands. How much of a bless it really was to wake up in your own bedroom, safe and sound. How precious the freedom you enjoyed really was.

Now, everything was taken from him. He had nowhere to go. He couldn’t even take charge of his own survival anymore. All he could do was to rely on the man who had kept him captive, and wished he wouldn’t harm him again.

All of these facts could be summed up into one simple, awful conclusion: he needed the kidnapper in order to survive. Takashi hated it.

Eventually, his captor let him sip one more spoonful of cooling soup before withdrawing the spoon. Then, came the faint noise of the man standing up from the bed. It was followed by the sound of a bowl being put down somewhere. Instantly, Takashi straightened himself up to sit fully on the bed, slowly moving blindly forward to where he thought was the center of the bed. What was the kidnapper’s next move? Was he leaving or was he staying? What did he intend to do?

If the kidnapper noticed Takashi’s movement, he didn’t say anything. Instead, Takashi could hear the man was now walking around the bed to another direction. Next, he could hear a ‘click’ as if something was being pushed open. Only the brunette couldn’t figure out what his captor had just done in the room… But soon, he could hear it: the many different tiny sounds from outside; it was unmistakable.

All of a sudden, he could also feel it: fresh air pouring into the room, wind blowing softly through...the window? Could it be that the kidnapper had just opened a window?

Takashi’s heart leaped rapidly in his chest at the thought. There was a window in this room. He had never dared to even wish for that......unblocked escape to the outside.....

Thousands of thoughts filled Takashi’s mind at once, to a point that he nearly missed his captor’s new sentence.

“It’s late now, so you should rest, Saga.”

Takashi couldn’t help but turn his body towards where the kidnapper’s voice came from. The way he uttered those words, commenting how it was late; it was like how a person would normally chat with his friends or family. It sounded all too normal for the captive brunette not to fear there was some hidden meaning behind this seemingly harmless commend. But at least, now judging from the other man’s words, Takashi knew it had to be night time by now.

“It’s nice to lie down and rest, right? You want to spend the night here…” The voice came from somewhere close, from somewhere behind him; but Takashi couldn’t tell where his captor stood.

“It can be your room if you like. you like it?”

It felt strange to hear this man talk. First, he seemed to be asking Takashi some questions, but in his next sentence, he was answering his own questions.

Still...there was great temptation in what the nameless kidnapper was offering now. A room, with an actual bed to sleep on; a room...with windows. It definitely was an improvement.  But why was he still feeling so scared when it came to giving his response? Was it because deep down, Takashi knew although now he had the chance to be relocated to a room upstairs with actual pieces of furniture, it didn’t change the fact that he was still imprisoned?

“I said, do you like it?” The kidnapper repeated his own question, his tone sounded almost neutral. Still, there was a note of anticipation underneath. Like the question itself was some sort of bait.

Takashi knew not to make his captor ask the same question for more than twice. Now he could only take his chance, and then hope for the best. “...Yes. I do.”

“Do you want to stay here?”

Another question.

Takashi found it becoming more difficult to form words. As though there was a thick layer of sands wiping against his tongue, “Yes...I’d love to.”

“...Surely you can stay here, for as long as you like…”

Takashi stirred when he felt a pair of hands land on either of his shoulders. The grip he played on him was not a forceful one, but it still sent shiver down his spine.

“But you must behave. Only good boy gets to stay in his room…”

Takashi nearly jumped when those words were whispered right next to his ear.

“Be good, so I won’t have to remove you back to that little padded cell.”

The sentence was uttered casually, in an off-hand manner; but Takashi still shivered at those words, he recognised the threat underlined.

“Saga, I also need you to do something for me.” The kidnapper said quietly, whilst his fingers caressing the lines of his captive’s shoulders.

Takashi did not know what to think about his captor’s request, but he didn’t dare to refuse either.

“I need you to hold every still. Will you do it for me?”
“After I’m done, I want you to count from one to ten before you do anything. Do you understand?”

Takashi repeated nervously, “Yes.”

Shortly afterwards, Takashi sensed movements from behind him, and then he felt a pair of hands tagging at the blindfold wrapped around his face. Then within the next second, the piece of cloth was loosened and then it was slipped off suddenly.

Takashi could not help releasing a loud gasp of shock as his eyes were freed from the tangles of rags being fastened upon them. Even after the thick, heavy piece of cloth had been removed, he didn’t even dare to open his eyes. Instead, he covered his face with his palms as though he needed some kind of protection. Beneath the tips of his own fingers, the skin around his eyes felt moistened, raw......moistened with tears; he needed to calm down, he needed time to get used to not being blindfolded...

He could feel a pair of hands come back to rest on both his shoulders, as though wanting to offer him some comfort. Although the mere thought of comfort was absurd. Takashi didn’t look up, didn’t try to turn back to see his captor’s face; still, he could hear the kidnapper’s voice speaking to him again.

“You’ll be fine, Saga. Now I want you to start counting, slowly.”

Calm down......Takashi repeated these two words in his mind like a prayer. Then, still burying his face in his hands, the brunette forced himself to start counting.


In painful slowness, the kidnapper’s hands slipped off Takashi’s shoulders.

“Sleep tight, Saga.”

Takashi didn’t dare to move, didn’t dare to say anything; and his captor didn’t seem to mind. A moment later, the bound one could hear tiny noise of movement behind him, as though the other man was truly exiting from the room.


Could this ‘click’ sound he thought he had just heard indicate that the kidnapper had closed the door behind him? Still, Takashi kept counting. Although part of him wanted to believe the kidnapper was gone, the other part of him wasn’t so certain, didn’t dare to disobey.


After his own voice faded into nothingness, there was only silence surrounding him. The only sound he could hear was his own heartbeat and every harsh, shallow breath being drawn out from his lungs. Both sounded so loud in this eerie quietness.

His upper body was still doubling over. His arms drew so tightly to press to his chests. He waited until his breathing came back to as close as normal. The sound of his own heartbeat reduced to allow him to hear sounds from his surroundings more clearly.  

This time....he heard nothing. Not the soft noise of another person’s breathing, no footstep, no movement. It seemed like he was left alone by now.

One by one, Takashi removed his quivering hands, raising his head and took in his new surroundings for the first time. He turned back; fearful of what he might see when he opened his eyes. At first, he needed to blink to let his eyes adjust to the light and being able to see things again. No one was there; he was alone in this room.

The room was dim; the light was switched off; the only light being the fading rays of the pale moon outside of the window. Takashi paused, his eyes fixed on a pair of windows, which he now saw was setting at the opposite side of the bed.

At first, Takashi could hardly believe what he was seeing. He couldn’t believe there was a pair of windows, standing open before him from across the dim little room, revealing the night sky and the tall trees underneath it.

There were open windows in the room, a mean to escape!

With a surge of excitement, the brunette rushed towards the window as fast as he could. He was still cuffed, but at least he could still make a run of it to the outside if he was careful...

However, once he got close enough, Takashi realised something he had failed to notice before. The windows were fenced carefully with at least three layers of thin wire. They were in fact both barricaded.

Mindlessly, Takashi raised both his hands towards the fences, trying to do something—he didn’t even know what he was up to. Out of desperation, did he really believe he could shake those fences off, or tear them apart with his bare hands?

He didn’t know what he was thinking; his mind had seemed to go bland. He didn’t pause to analyse the situation logically, he could only act. The fences were his enemies now; he had to get them down—

He tried again and again until his nails broke and his fingertips started bleeding around the edges. Still, the fences couldn’t be torn down. As thin and breakable as they seemed, they were made of stronger material than they looked.

When finally Takashi collapsed, sinking onto the floor, he felt exhausted all over again; his fingers and arms were both aching. He felt defeated, knowing his effort was in vain, he wasn’t closer to salvation than before. His captor was too clever to leave his captive in an unguarded room.

There was still no escape, no hope.

Mustering whatever left of his strength, Takashi got up to his knees once more and took another look outside of the window. Beyond the fences, the entire world seemed to be shrouded entirely by darkness. Takashi could see neither streetlight nor lamps; the only source of light was the pale moon so far away on the cloudy night sky. It took a while for the brunette’s eyes to adjust to the darkness and made out more of the scenery. All he could make out was the shadow of tall trees beneath the pale moonlight.

Takashi kept looking, trying to find something else, but he couldn’t see anything other than the shades of towering trees. It looked to the brunette they seemed to be going for miles after miles, without ending.

Could he possibly manage to walk out of these woods, given his weakened condition?

At the back of his mind, Takashi knew the answer, but it would kill him to allow himself to acknowledge it. He wanted to scream despite he knew it was useless to even try shouting in order to catch some passer-by’s attention. Because there simply was no passer-by; not so deep in the woods. He also knew it was useless to even go to try to unlock the door. It had to be locked from the outside, his captor was no fool. All the routes to escape was blocked even before he had a chance to fight back, Takashi was too drained and disappointed that he couldn’t even cry.

Takashi didn’t remember how he managed to stand up and leave the window, but he must have somehow managed to do it because the next thing he knew, Takashi had stumbled back to the lone bed in the middle of the room. His thin frame hit the mattress as he felt his lids shutting with exhaustion.

Before long, Takashi was pushed under the heavy weight of a dreamless sleep. This time, he didn’t have enough energy to suspect whether he had been drugged again.

to be continued.
Warning: yaoi=guy loves another guy, don’t like don’t read

Part 7

Gentle breeze blew across the hills, carrying with them the fallen leaves and the remaining scent of summer. Autumn was approaching as the wind danced across the hilltops. The air was damp and cool around him, but unlike the others, he could not sense heat, nor was he able to feel the sensation of coldness. Everywhere he went, the path before him always remained empty, like it always did. The soft rustle of leaves above head was the only sound to be heard along the narrow paths through the quiet woods.

Under the shadows of the tall trees, the woodland was dim and covered by shadows despite the setting sun. The tangling branches and the many layers of leaves that seemed to cover the entire sky had kept most of the daylight out, which was fine with him. He could see things even amongst the dimness, and the hours of twilight had always suited him more than the blinding sunlight in the middle of the day, when he needed to hide beneath the shadows just so he would not be exposed.

His mother had always told him not to go outside during daytime and risk being exposed under the full force of the sun, but he did not always listen to what his mother had to say. He still liked to roam the woods at dusk when the sun had yet to disappear entirely from the sky. Deep inside the woods, there always were enough shades for him to hide himself into.

Deep inside the woods, it was always quiet. No one ever came up here. He was always alone when he explored the woodland around his mother’s house. Outside of these woods and the hills, everything changed; but not here, not within the woods and the Amano residence. Nothing ever changed.

Looking around himself, nothing had ever changed in this quiet woodland. Sometimes, he saw fallen trees when he wandered through the woods. Sometimes, he found dead animals on the ground; remains that would be eaten or rot away within a few days. But it didn’t matter; nothing could surprise or interest him anymore.

It didn’t take long for him to reach the hillside. For reason unbeknownst to him, he could never go any further. The world as he knew it had always ended here. He could never go down to the foot of the hill. Some invisible force had always stopped him from going further.

Today was no exclusion. He tried to take one step forward, hoping to find maybe this time he was able to go further. But again, the invisible force pushed him back, until the boy gave up and walked backward to where he had come from.

The failed attempt left a hollow feeling with him; it reminded him so much of how he was trapped here, and would remain so in the infinite time.

When he finally reached the clearing at the hilltop where his mother’s house stood, he could see the sky above head was bathed in deep scarlet glow as the sun set slowly under the horizon. It wouldn’t take long for the glow to fade entirely and be replaced by the darkness of nightfall. The front door was half opened when he moved up the doorsteps; he walked through the door before closing it behind him.

“I’m home,” out of habit, he called out, but to no one in particular.

He saw no one in sight when he went further inside the house. The lack of response did not surprise him in the slightest. He only paused when he walked past the living room. The living room was as it had always been expected. Now, there were a few unfamiliar items in the room: a paperback novel with many dog-eared corners, a plastic file with pieces of paper stuffed in it and a mini music player were left spreading across the coffee table, and a jacket lying on the armrest of the sofa nearby.

His glance fell upon those belongings, left behind by their ‘guests’. These were the evidence of the arrival of those two people.

How could he forget about the arrival of these two? How could he forget the curiosity and the surprise the unexpected arrival of those guests had brought him? At first, he heard the noise of a car approaching from somewhere outside of the house. The noise in itself was shocking enough, because he honestly could not recall hearing any car driving up to the hilltop in any memorable past. He could barely believe what he was hearing until he could see—through a window upstairs— a car did appear between the tangled shrubs and tall trees, driving slowly through the gate outside of their garden.

He had hidden himself at the top of the stairs after he heard the front door being opened from outside, watching through the gaps between the railing. Two strangers stepped into his mother’s household as though it was within their rights to do so, but whatever negative feeling flashed through him was soon brushed aside once he realised he could recognise one person from this pair of visitors.

One of them he knew nothing of. This man was a complete stranger to him, this brown-haired friendly looking man; but his companion...when he saw this face, memories rushed back immediately.  

That person...he had changed. Still, he could still recognise him...the boy whom he had once played with from so long ago. But he was no longer a little boy now; he had grown during the time he had been away, and was now an adult.

His playmate, his Saga-kun had changed.

Perhaps seeing Saga again was a sign. Perhaps this time, things should be changing as well. He himself should also be changing too. If only he could figure where to start, and
how. Perhaps after the impossibly long period of lifelessness, perhaps this time...this time...

Change had finally arrived.

Perhaps this time, things were going to be
different? When finally there were outsiders entering this woods?

But then he recalled how neither Saga nor his companion had ever noticed him during their stay. To them, he was as good as nonexistent; just the same like to the rest of the world, he was nothing more than a fleeting shade, the rustle of leaves.

Not anymore.

He would no longer be a shadow. For the first time, he wanted to be seen and recognised, he longed to......belong. He would look for a way for Saga to notice him...he would think of a way to start changing things. If he allowed himself to think deeper, he would have acknowledged he
knew things couldn’t go on like they were currently going for forever, but he never had a reason to try breaking the cycle.

But now he had.

Taking one last look at the guests’ belongings, the boy walked away from the living room and went upstairs. He moved further into the second floor of the house. All around him, the entire house seemed to be deserted; but the raven-haired boy knew he was not alone here.  His mother was here somewhere, she had to be. He just had to find her amongst those rooms.

He walked along the hallway, looking into different rooms as he walked past them, expecting to find his mother within one of these rooms, only to find each of them empty. She would be up and about during the days when she was feeling fine. Perhaps today wasn’t one of those days.

This household belonged to his was also the only home he knew. He never knew any other place. He never knew any other way of life. Even though he kept wandering out; eventually, he still had to go back to this place.

There used to be the three of them living together; but now, his father was not here anymore, hadn’t been here for almost as long as the boy could remember. He didn’t know where the older man was now, although he knew his father used to be living here with them so long ago in the past.

He couldn’t tell when his father left, he only knew that his father was simply not here now. For a few times in the past, he did try to ask his mother about where his father had gone to, when they would see him again; all he got in reply was silence and his mother’s sorrowful smile.

Eventually, he found himself standing before the master’s bedroom at the left hand side of the end of the hallway. It was his parents’ room. He knew that if he could not find her anywhere, then he would most likely find his mother there.

He knocked, and then slipped the door open after he heard a murmur ‘Come in’. At first glance, the master’s bedroom seemed to be empty just like the rest of the household, but there was a heavy screen separating the sleeping area with the rest of the bedroom. Nonetheless, the raven-haired boy could tell his mother had to be there, behind the screen, lying on the bed that once belonged to both his parents.

“Tora, welcome back.”

What was the point for his mother to greet him like this? His mother knew as well as he did that he always had to come back, he had nowhere else to go.

The familiar voice greeted him from behind the screen, which made the boy certain that his mother was really there. The Western styled painted screen had made it impossible to see who was there on the other side. As a result, for a few times suspicion did arise in him, making him wonder whether he was merely talking to no one at all. But once again, he was proved wrong. His mother was still there; it was foolish for him to ever think she would be anywhere else but here.

That was how they usually would communicate with each other. They chatted when his mother was hidden behind the screen or underneath the shadows, where her son could not see her fully. It was for her protection since she wasn’t always fit enough to join her son. He was used to his mother’s behaviours by now. Still, the boy would always know his mother was watching over him, even when he couldn’t see her.

His train of thoughts were disturbed by his mother’s voice, asking him a casual question, “How was your day, my son?”

He shrugged, even though his mother couldn’t see him doing so with the screen separating them; and then replied with his most impassive tone, “Just the same.”

“You didn’t have fun playing outside?” His mother asked again, her voice laced with motherly care and sympathy.

“What’s so funny about playing all by yourself?” The boy groaned impatiently, “It’s always the same out there. I am always alone—”

He could hear the sound of his mother shifting her weight amongst the mattress when she spoke again, “But I’ve found you many playmates, haven’t I?”
“I don’t want them,” the boy complained bitterly, his thoughts darkened just by all those so-called ‘playmates’ his mother had collected and stored for a room on the ground floor.

Those...things his mother had collected for him did have their usefulness, but they were and never would be his playmates for real. He didn’t want them...he wanted to be with others, he wanted to have companies, he wanted......
real friends. But his mother didn’t always seem to understand his longing...and he had already half given up on the attempt to make her understand.

The raven-haired boy could hear his mother sighing behind the screen. He knew her tone well, the tone mothers would use when they were dealing with their beloved yet unreasonable, pouting children. He knew his mother loved him deeply and would do anything for him, but how could he get her to understand how he truly felt?

There was a long pause between mother and son, as though neither of them knew what to say to one another at this point. However, the tension in the room was broken when sound of engine turning reached their ears. Instantly, the boy knew what he was hearing: the noise of a vehicle driving up the uphill road, moving towards their house.

But on the other hand, his mother seemed to be confused, for she was now asking about the noise from the outside, “What’s that sound, Tora...?”

“It has to be Saga,” the raven-haired boy replied without thinking about what he was revealing first, “He has come back.”

Before he uttered those words, he could hardly admit the possibility of Saga
not returning had kept him worked up.

“Who?” His mother muffled gently,sounding confused.
“It’s Saga and his friend, they are coming back here.”
“That is...Saga?” For the first time ever, he could hear uncertainty clear in his mother’s voice. He swore her voice sounded a bit uneasy when she uttered her nephew’s name.
“That’s him, your nephew.” Dutifully, he explained, just in case she really couldn’t recall who Saga was.

Then, he heard movements from the other side of the screen. The raven head guessed his mother must be sitting herself upright at this point. “But are you sure? What do you mean ‘they are coming  back’?”

“Yes it’s him, Mother! He arrived here with his friend just yesterday.”
“...They did?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t noticed nor recognised him,” the boy said with a pout.
“You have to forgive me, my son. Sometimes, I just...I am not always well enough to be aware of what is going on…”

His mother wasn’t particularly strong, neither in spirit nor strength; that was why she had to keep to herself in this room so often, resting on the bed behind the painted screen.

“It really is Saga-kun?” His mother asked again as though she still felt the need to be absolutely certain, “I am not sure if I could recognise him even if he’s standing in front of me, it has been so long…”
“Yes, I know. It has been so long already, Mother. He has changed a lot.”
“But it’s nice to have him back.”
“Yeah.” This time, Tora agreed with his mother effortlessly.

“My dear, you should go spending time with him, just like you two used to do before…”

At first, Tora didn’t reply. Instead, he frowned at his mother’s words. It irritated him a bit that sometimes she didn’t seem to remember he wasn’t a child anymore. If he wanted someone else’s company, he would seek it without having to ask his mother first. But for his mother’s sake, he would play along without talking back at her, like a good son.

“I will.”

With that, he exited from his mother’s bedroom to retreat safely back to his own room at the end of the hallway. His mother had given her approval, but the boy knew it would be unwise to meet their guests again so soon.

to be continued.


vampirekiki's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Hong Kong
Hi everyone:

You will find Jrock fanart, fanfics and a lot of Yaoi in here among many other things, some of the deviations are NC-17 for one reason or another.

There’s chance that you might not like what you see here, so bear in mind that whenever you click and look at the deviations it is all up to your own decision, no one forces you to read/look at them at gunpoint. Understand?

PS: if you don’t even know what ‘Yaoi’ is, then I won’t suggest you to check my deviations.

Current Residence: a sad place called reality
Favourite genre of music: rock
Favourite style of art: manga, does it count?*winks*
MP3 player of choice: some made in China thing, cheap and useable...^^;
Wallpaper of choice: i sucked posting wallpaper!
Favourite cartoon character: Johnny from JTHM, does he count?
I finished the new chapter of my Despairsray fanfic.............but somehow I had decided to separate it from the main series and give it a new title.

And right now I can't figure out the new title. =__= 

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