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Warning: yaoi=guy loves another guy, don’t like don’t read

Part 7

Gentle breeze blew across the hills, carrying with them the fallen leaves and the remaining scent of summer. Autumn was approaching as the wind danced across the hilltops. The air was damp and cool around him, but unlike the others, he could not sense heat, nor was he able to feel the sensation of coldness. Everywhere he went, the path before him always remained empty, like it always did. The soft rustle of leaves above head was the only sound to be heard along the narrow paths through the quiet woods.

Under the shadows of the tall trees, the woodland was dim and covered by shadows despite the setting sun. The tangling branches and the many layers of leaves that seemed to cover the entire sky had kept most of the daylight out, which was fine with him. He could see things even amongst the dimness, and the hours of twilight had always suited him more than the blinding sunlight in the middle of the day, when he needed to hide beneath the shadows just so he would not be exposed.

His mother had always told him not to go outside during daytime and risk being exposed under the full force of the sun, but he did not always listen to what his mother had to say. He still liked to roam the woods at dusk when the sun had yet to disappear entirely from the sky. Deep inside the woods, there always were enough shades for him to hide himself into.

Deep inside the woods, it was always quiet. No one ever came up here. He was always alone when he explored the woodland around his mother’s house. Outside of these woods and the hills, everything changed; but not here, not within the woods and the Amano residence. Nothing ever changed.

Looking around himself, nothing had ever changed in this quiet woodland. Sometimes, he saw fallen trees when he wandered through the woods. Sometimes, he found dead animals on the ground; remains that would be eaten or rot away within a few days. But it didn’t matter; nothing could surprise or interest him anymore.

It didn’t take long for him to reach the hillside. For reason unbeknownst to him, he could never go any further. The world as he knew it had always ended here. He could never go down to the foot of the hill. Some invisible force had always stopped him from going further.

Today was no exclusion. He tried to take one step forward, hoping to find maybe this time he was able to go further. But again, the invisible force pushed him back, until the boy gave up and walked backward to where he had come from.

The failed attempt left a hollow feeling with him; it reminded him so much of how he was trapped here, and would remain so in the infinite time.

When he finally reached the clearing at the hilltop where his mother’s house stood, he could see the sky above head was bathed in deep scarlet glow as the sun set slowly under the horizon. It wouldn’t take long for the glow to fade entirely and be replaced by the darkness of nightfall. The front door was half opened when he moved up the doorsteps; he walked through the door before closing it behind him.

“I’m home,” out of habit, he called out, but to no one in particular.

He saw no one in sight when he went further inside the house. The lack of response did not surprise him in the slightest. He only paused when he walked past the living room. The living room was as it had always been expected. Now, there were a few unfamiliar items in the room: a paperback novel with many dog-eared corners, a plastic file with pieces of paper stuffed in it and a mini music player were left spreading across the coffee table, and a jacket lying on the armrest of the sofa nearby.

His glance fell upon those belongings, left behind by their ‘guests’. These were the evidence of the arrival of those two people.

How could he forget about the arrival of these two? How could he forget the curiosity and the surprise the unexpected arrival of those guests had brought him? At first, he heard the noise of a car approaching from somewhere outside of the house. The noise in itself was shocking enough, because he honestly could not recall hearing any car driving up to the hilltop in any memorable past. He could barely believe what he was hearing until he could see—through a window upstairs— a car did appear between the tangled shrubs and tall trees, driving slowly through the gate outside of their garden.

He had hidden himself at the top of the stairs after he heard the front door being opened from outside, watching through the gaps between the railing. Two strangers stepped into his mother’s household as though it was within their rights to do so, but whatever negative feeling flashed through him was soon brushed aside once he realised he could recognise one person from this pair of visitors.

One of them he knew nothing of. This man was a complete stranger to him, this brown-haired friendly looking man; but his companion...when he saw this face, memories rushed back immediately.  

That person...he had changed. Still, he could still recognise him...the boy whom he had once played with from so long ago. But he was no longer a little boy now; he had grown during the time he had been away, and was now an adult.

His playmate, his Saga-kun had changed.

Perhaps seeing Saga again was a sign. Perhaps this time, things should be changing as well. He himself should also be changing too. If only he could figure where to start, and
how. Perhaps after the impossibly long period of lifelessness, perhaps this time...this time...

Change had finally arrived.

Perhaps this time, things were going to be
different? When finally there were outsiders entering this woods?

But then he recalled how neither Saga nor his companion had ever noticed him during their stay. To them, he was as good as nonexistent; just the same like to the rest of the world, he was nothing more than a fleeting shade, the rustle of leaves.

Not anymore.

He would no longer be a shadow. For the first time, he wanted to be seen and recognised, he longed to......belong. He would look for a way for Saga to notice him...he would think of a way to start changing things. If he allowed himself to think deeper, he would have acknowledged he
knew things couldn’t go on like they were currently going for forever, but he never had a reason to try breaking the cycle.

But now he had.

Taking one last look at the guests’ belongings, the boy walked away from the living room and went upstairs. He moved further into the second floor of the house. All around him, the entire house seemed to be deserted; but the raven-haired boy knew he was not alone here.  His mother was here somewhere, she had to be. He just had to find her amongst those rooms.

He walked along the hallway, looking into different rooms as he walked past them, expecting to find his mother within one of these rooms, only to find each of them empty. She would be up and about during the days when she was feeling fine. Perhaps today wasn’t one of those days.

This household belonged to his was also the only home he knew. He never knew any other place. He never knew any other way of life. Even though he kept wandering out; eventually, he still had to go back to this place.

There used to be the three of them living together; but now, his father was not here anymore, hadn’t been here for almost as long as the boy could remember. He didn’t know where the older man was now, although he knew his father used to be living here with them so long ago in the past.

He couldn’t tell when his father left, he only knew that his father was simply not here now. For a few times in the past, he did try to ask his mother about where his father had gone to, when they would see him again; all he got in reply was silence and his mother’s sorrowful smile.

Eventually, he found himself standing before the master’s bedroom at the left hand side of the end of the hallway. It was his parents’ room. He knew that if he could not find her anywhere, then he would most likely find his mother there.

He knocked, and then slipped the door open after he heard a murmur ‘Come in’. At first glance, the master’s bedroom seemed to be empty just like the rest of the household, but there was a heavy screen separating the sleeping area with the rest of the bedroom. Nonetheless, the raven-haired boy could tell his mother had to be there, behind the screen, lying on the bed that once belonged to both his parents.

“Tora, welcome back.”

What was the point for his mother to greet him like this? His mother knew as well as he did that he always had to come back, he had nowhere else to go.

The familiar voice greeted him from behind the screen, which made the boy certain that his mother was really there. The Western styled painted screen had made it impossible to see who was there on the other side. As a result, for a few times suspicion did arise in him, making him wonder whether he was merely talking to no one at all. But once again, he was proved wrong. His mother was still there; it was foolish for him to ever think she would be anywhere else but here.

That was how they usually would communicate with each other. They chatted when his mother was hidden behind the screen or underneath the shadows, where her son could not see her fully. It was for her protection since she wasn’t always fit enough to join her son. He was used to his mother’s behaviours by now. Still, the boy would always know his mother was watching over him, even when he couldn’t see her.

His train of thoughts were disturbed by his mother’s voice, asking him a casual question, “How was your day, my son?”

He shrugged, even though his mother couldn’t see him doing so with the screen separating them; and then replied with his most impassive tone, “Just the same.”

“You didn’t have fun playing outside?” His mother asked again, her voice laced with motherly care and sympathy.

“What’s so funny about playing all by yourself?” The boy groaned impatiently, “It’s always the same out there. I am always alone—”

He could hear the sound of his mother shifting her weight amongst the mattress when she spoke again, “But I’ve found you many playmates, haven’t I?”
“I don’t want them,” the boy complained bitterly, his thoughts darkened just by all those so-called ‘playmates’ his mother had collected and stored for a room on the ground floor.

Those...things his mother had collected for him did have their usefulness, but they were and never would be his playmates for real. He didn’t want them...he wanted to be with others, he wanted to have companies, he wanted......
real friends. But his mother didn’t always seem to understand his longing...and he had already half given up on the attempt to make her understand.

The raven-haired boy could hear his mother sighing behind the screen. He knew her tone well, the tone mothers would use when they were dealing with their beloved yet unreasonable, pouting children. He knew his mother loved him deeply and would do anything for him, but how could he get her to understand how he truly felt?

There was a long pause between mother and son, as though neither of them knew what to say to one another at this point. However, the tension in the room was broken when sound of engine turning reached their ears. Instantly, the boy knew what he was hearing: the noise of a vehicle driving up the uphill road, moving towards their house.

But on the other hand, his mother seemed to be confused, for she was now asking about the noise from the outside, “What’s that sound, Tora...?”

“It has to be Saga,” the raven-haired boy replied without thinking about what he was revealing first, “He has come back.”

Before he uttered those words, he could hardly admit the possibility of Saga
not returning had kept him worked up.

“Who?” His mother muffled gently,sounding confused.
“It’s Saga and his friend, they are coming back here.”
“That is...Saga?” For the first time ever, he could hear uncertainty clear in his mother’s voice. He swore her voice sounded a bit uneasy when she uttered her nephew’s name.
“That’s him, your nephew.” Dutifully, he explained, just in case she really couldn’t recall who Saga was.

Then, he heard movements from the other side of the screen. The raven head guessed his mother must be sitting herself upright at this point. “But are you sure? What do you mean ‘they are coming  back’?”

“Yes it’s him, Mother! He arrived here with his friend just yesterday.”
“...They did?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t noticed nor recognised him,” the boy said with a pout.
“You have to forgive me, my son. Sometimes, I just...I am not always well enough to be aware of what is going on…”

His mother wasn’t particularly strong, neither in spirit nor strength; that was why she had to keep to herself in this room so often, resting on the bed behind the painted screen.

“It really is Saga-kun?” His mother asked again as though she still felt the need to be absolutely certain, “I am not sure if I could recognise him even if he’s standing in front of me, it has been so long…”
“Yes, I know. It has been so long already, Mother. He has changed a lot.”
“But it’s nice to have him back.”
“Yeah.” This time, Tora agreed with his mother effortlessly.

“My dear, you should go spending time with him, just like you two used to do before…”

At first, Tora didn’t reply. Instead, he frowned at his mother’s words. It irritated him a bit that sometimes she didn’t seem to remember he wasn’t a child anymore. If he wanted someone else’s company, he would seek it without having to ask his mother first. But for his mother’s sake, he would play along without talking back at her, like a good son.

“I will.”

With that, he exited from his mother’s bedroom to retreat safely back to his own room at the end of the hallway. His mother had given her approval, but the boy knew it would be unwise to meet their guests again so soon.

to be continued.
Cross Game part 41

Five days after they had the conversation with Nao and the Amanos, Tora and Saga were on their way to go to a train, heading for their trip to Chichibu, Saitama. The two teenagers had decided to travel with just small backpacks and two light suitcases. The Amanos and Nao had gone to the train station to see them off.

By the time their train was about to arrive at the station, the entire family had decided to move up to the platform together. Like many other people who went to the station to see their families or friends off to their own journeys, members of Amano family also thought it would be best to see the two boys off on the platform, to make sure that the two of them got on the train safe and sound.

“Happy Honeymoon!” Nao said cheerfully to the newlyweds.
“It is not—” Tora argued tiredly.
“Don’t be shy!” Ignoring his younger brother’s weak protest, Nao continued to grin brightly as he waved at the pair, “Enjoy yourselves!”

Once again, they together were on a train; but this time, they were going to travel beyond the city limit. Their family was expecting them to go home three days later. It would be the first time they spent so much time with only each other as a...pair, far away from other family members and friends.

Soon, they were on board, and the train left the station just in time. Once the train left the city behind, it started to travel smoothly through different countryside landscapes. Their train had kept a steady speed as it travelled smoothly forward. For that, Saga was thankful; at least, he didn’t have to worry about the possibility of carsickness anymore.

There weren’t many other passengers in the same carriage, so the two teenagers now sat side by side in a half empty carriage.

On train, people usually would chat with their travel companions, right? But in Tora and Saga’s case, they didn’t seem to know what to say once they put their backpacks to the shelf and made themselves comfortable on their seats.

Somewhere at the back of the carriage, Saga could hear some other passenger chatting quietly with his friends. Then for a while, the blonde listened to those other passengers giggling amongst themselves in a low volume. He wished he could think of something to chat with Tora as well, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

Eventually, Saga picked up a tour guide and started reading in order to distract himself, although he found himself drifting out of focus from time to time. When he looked up from the pages, he found Tora looking at him.

“Are you thinking about where to go after we arrive?”

It wasn’t exactly what Saga had in mind, but he nodded anyway.

The raven head asked further, in a casual tone, “Found any place you want to visit yet?”

The blonde shook his head, “For this vacation, I don’t think I need to go from one tourist attraction to another. I’m fine with just spending time in the nearby area. But if you have any place in mind......”

In the end, his sentence traced off into nothingness, for Saga wasn’t so sure what he should suggest. He wanted to tell Tora he would be okay visiting where Tora wanted to visit as well, but the words just couldn’t come out right.

Tora watched the blonde trying to find words, but couldn’t quite able to finish his own sentence. That brought a small smile on his handsome face. So, he reached out to give Saga’s hand a little squeeze, “We’ll see.”

“Okay…” After this small conversation with his husband, Saga felt more relaxed by now.

An hour later, they arrived at their destination. In fact, both of them felt the trip had ended sooner than neither of them had expected.

They left the station and took a short walk to the Chichibu’s town centre in order to get a bus ride, which could take them from town to the hills, so they could finally reach the cottage arranged by Nao. They ate a light meal near the bus station by noon before going to catch the bus. They had small talks now and then when they ate. In between those small talks, silence would hover above them whenever their conservation traced off; but this time, the silence in between was neither tensed nor uncomfortable. Instead, it felt more...natural and calming for them to be simply together like this. This time, there was no more fight, disagreement or pretending. This time, it was only the two of them, together.

After they left the small restaurant, the pair headed towards the bus station nearby. They waited with other passengers until the bus arrived. They also managed to find their seats in the middle row of the bus before it left the station and slowly made its ways uphill. Now, they were going to the location Nao had given them. They knew once arrived, they were supposed to stay in a cottage at the outskirt of this town.

Neither of them had been to this region before. The scenery along the uphill road was great, but Saga didn’t have the mind to appreciate it. After all, he still had carsickness to worry about.

Fortunately, the bus came to a stop at the station they were supposed to stop by. So, the pair left the bus and started the final leg of their journey on foot. Together, they went along a lane, which would take them to the destination.

“Are you alright?” Once leaving the bus station behind, Tora found Saga to look quite green in colour.

“I am okay,” Saga replied as casually as he could.

He wanted to smile in order to reassure his husband, but the smile turned out weary and a little forced. He had thought he had become stronger, but the bus trip still worn him down a bit.

Here was the moment of truth. They had no idea what Nao had prepared for them. Finally, there were almost there.

The hills spread before them. Along the road, there were plenty of small, cottage-liked houses with creamy white walls and brick-red roofs; trees covering the entire hill like a green thick carpet and lining up along the roads. The layers of tree were so thick that the pair didn’t have to bear the heat sunlight beating down their backs as they walked slowly uphill.

Finally, they found the cottage with the correct door number.

“Here it’s,” Tora announced, taking in the sight of the little house that would be their home for the upcoming four days.

The building itself was nothing too grand nor showy, but the cottage gave out a cosy and homely feeling. Just like what people would imagine for their dream house up the hill.

“Let’s get inside, shall we?” Tora suggested gently, jolting Saga out of his train of thoughts.

The blond-haired teen reacted by fishing a set of keys from his bag and then handed it to Tora. In turn, Tora walked up to the front gate and used one of the keys to unlock it. Once the gate was opened, the pair started walking down the lane leading towards the cottage, all the way to the front door.

At first, they couldn’t see much of the interior of the cottage before the light was switched on. Then, they got a good look at their surroundings. Both of them were impressed by what they saw.

The walls and ceiling were painted in a warm light yellow colour whilst the floor was covered by fine wooden flooring. They also noticed that not only every piece of furniture within the room seemed to be fresh and in good working order, they were also finely arranged to add to the welcoming, homelike stratosphere. A handful of classy paintings were being hanged on the walls as well.

Saga looked around the surroundings. So, they really were going to have this house all to themselves for four days? It felt almost unreal.

“So...what do you think?” Tora asked.
“I think...that’s nice,” Saga slowly replied, “Very nice.”

Now, he was more certain that they had made the right choice going here.


“What’s it, mother?”
“I’m a bit worried about the kids,” Mrs. Amano sighed softly.

Nao couldn’t prevent an amused smile from spreading across his face as he heard his mother referring to his younger brother and cousin lovingly as ‘kids’—she did that often enough; it wasn’t the first time she used this term and Nao knew it also wouldn’t be the last. At least, she had the good sense to always make sure she did that only when Tora and Saga were both absent.

Nao’s thought drifted to his younger brother and Saga for a moment. He could see that they had grown up a bit, and they also had matured a bit in such short period. Still, it hardly changed the fact that they were still the babies in the family when Mrs. Amano was concerned.

“They will be fine,” Nao reasoned, “Tora will look after Saga, right? In fact, they’ll look after each other. Isn’t it what marriage is for?

That brought a smile across Mrs. Amano’s face, “You’re right, my dear.”


For the rest of the noon, the newlyweds spent time settling themselves down to their vacation house. Windows were opened to let fresh air in; cloths were removed to reveal different pieces of furniture underneath. They had switched the light in different rooms on and then off to make sure everything was still working properly. Eventually, they moved their bags and suitcases to the bedroom on the second floor and then brought out the most necessary items to their own places as well. Supposedly, they would go outside during the early afternoon after everything was settled.

Saga knew they were almost done. Soon enough, they would be on their way to town, having lunch and doing some sightseeing.

He felt excited; it was almost the same like when he was joining a school trip. It was always exciting to be able to get away from home for a short while; but on the other hand, this time Saga felt differently from when he went on to school trips in the past. No...this time things were different, very different.

Putting the rest of his clothes into the drawer next to the bed, Saga stood up to find his husband finished dragging his suitcase to the other side of their bed. The blond-haired teen moved to sit cross-legged at the edge of the double bed, watching Tora bend down to open his suitcase, and then fishing out a few folded shirts from it.

Just when the raven head was about to finish, an object slipped from between the shirts and dropped to the mattress. Saga blinked when he saw the curious object rolling across the bed before it came to a stop at the center of it. It was a half-transparent light pink cylinder plastic bottle, smaller than the size of his palm, which looked curiously familiar with......

The brunette tensed uneasily as realisation dawned upon him. He knew what it was, although he doubted he had ever seen the item up close before.

A tube of lube.

Tora must have noticed it as well, and his eyes widened in shock. At the same time, the shirts he was holding in one hand slipped from his grip and dropped to the mattress, untimely revealing a few packages of condoms and a small card.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Tora tried to explain with a flushed face, waving his hands wildly in a sudden outburst of embarrassment, “I didn’t bring them here!”

Without a word, Saga reached for the dropped little card and picked it up. Instantly, he saw there was a short sentence written on the surface, together with a name signed at the bottom of the card. He recognised Nao’s handwriting right away.

The card read: Have fun! ≧▽≦

Ooops. The card actually made everything become clear to him.

“It’s okay; I know who has done it.” Speaking as calmly as he could, Saga offered the card to his husband, without looking up at the latter. If he could look at himself now, the blonde would have known his own face was also blushing a bright shade of red as well.

Puzzled, Tora accepted the card and read it as well. It didn’t take long for him to finish, and he was not happy to know exactly who had caused this awkward episode from taking place.

“Nao,” the raven-haired teen cursed, “I Will. Kill. Him!”

to be continued.
alice nine fanfic Cross Game part 41

Title: Cross Game

Authors: Mizuki and Jun

Beta: Kuni Klein, gazerockyo, zuou, and now miriam1988 (Miriam)

Band: Alice Nine and others

Rating: R to NC-17

Genre: mpreg and romance what I hope is comedy

Pairings: Tora/Saga, Shou/Saga and hint of other pairings

Warning: smut, mpreg and angst

Dedication: it’s a request for my friend cream4me, who provided the basic plot.

Summary: Just looked at what had happened to him the last time he let his guard down when Tora was around, was enough a lesson to teach him the otherwise.

Part 40 alice nine fanfic Cross Game part 40
Book Review: Gokumonto, by Seishi Yokomizo

Gokumonto, or The Hell Gate Isle, is widely considered as Seishi Yokomizo's best work. It's a fine mixture of human dramas, mystery, murder and horror, once you read it, it would definitely leave a deep impression in your mind.

The story follows Detective Kindaichi, returning to Japan from the South East Asian war zone after World War II, he went to visit the Hell Gate Isle, a remote island and homeland to his late brother-in-arm, who died on a ship on its way back to Japan. Before the man's untimely death, he begged Kindaichi to go to his homeland in order to save his three younger sisters from being murdered, but the man had no time to explain to Kindaichi why would he foresee his sisters' death and who might want to kill them.  

Bearing his late friend's chilling last will, Kindaichi set foot on the Hell Gate Isle. He met his friend's surviving family and the dead man's three beautiful but ominous younger sisters. On the isolated Hell Gate Isle, soon Kindaichi realized the islanders might be hiding some secrets from outsiders, and soon his friend's sisters were being killed one by one in the most horrifying but fascinating ways imaginable...

The strength of this book lays on the strong, dark, ominous atmosphere Mr. Yokomizo had created for his book and the outstanding and complicated murder mystery. I also like how the origin of the Isle and the complicated relationships within the island's most powerful family (the family of Kindaichi's late friend) is being revealed to us. Mr. Yokomizo also drew a lot of elements from transitional Japanese art and used them on the murder mystery, and the result is just gorgeous!

Although, the reason for the killer to commit the crime looks really...odd; still the author successfully created a strong atmosphere to lead us into agreeing that "Yes, those girls have to die, given the twisted history of the family and the environment of the Hell Gate Isle, their death is just unavoidable." But I must warn you, the killer's reason does look...forced, so it's one of the few flaws of this book.

Plus, it's part of the fans' in-joke that Hell Gate Isle is one of the perfect examples of how the great Detective Kindaichi could *only* manage to solve the cases *after* every single victim got killed. And it's not the last time such kind of thing happens in the detective's long professional history. LOL

It's a well written but unsettling book to read and each of the murder case is being committed in some of the most stylist and tasteful ways in the history of Japanese detective novels. Strongly recommend to all the lovers of detective novels out there.
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vampirekiki's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Hong Kong
Hi everyone:

You will find Jrock fanart, fanfics and a lot of Yaoi in here among many other things, some of the deviations are NC-17 for one reason or another.

There’s chance that you might not like what you see here, so bear in mind that whenever you click and look at the deviations it is all up to your own decision, no one forces you to read/look at them at gunpoint. Understand?

PS: if you don’t even know what ‘Yaoi’ is, then I won’t suggest you to check my deviations.

Current Residence: a sad place called reality
Favourite genre of music: rock
Favourite style of art: manga, does it count?*winks*
MP3 player of choice: some made in China thing, cheap and useable...^^;
Wallpaper of choice: i sucked posting wallpaper!
Favourite cartoon character: Johnny from JTHM, does he count?
I finished the new chapter of my Despairsray fanfic.............but somehow I had decided to separate it from the main series and give it a new title.

And right now I can't figure out the new title. =__= 

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Pandemonnium Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:
If you want to have a look at our background stuff then take a look at our Facebook_page !
vampirekiki Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you are welcome!
Marril96 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for watching me :)
vampirekiki Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Samy-Consu Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014
thank you so much for fav tribute PIYO (Gakido)
vampirekiki Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you're welcomed.
Samy-Consu Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
X-bloodyprincess-X Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you so much for the :+fav: on "Mad Hatter" :aww:
vampirekiki Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you are welcomed.
InnaKRUMHOLZ Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav Heart 
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