Book Review: Alice in Zombieland, by Gena Showalter
Premise from Goodreads: She won't rest until she's sent every walking corpse back to its grave. Forever.
If anyone had told Alice Bell that her entire life would change course between one heartbeat and the next, she would have laughed. From blissful to tragic, innocent to ruined? Please. But that's all it took. One heartbeat. A blink, a breath, a second, and everything she knew and loved was gone.
Her father was right. The monsters are real.
To avenge her family, Ali must learn to fight the undead. To survive, she must learn to trust the baddest of the bad boys, Cole Holland. But Cole has secrets of his own, and if Ali isn't careful, those secrets might just prove to be more dangerous than the zombies.
This gif shows my reaction to this book: sammo6661deth.deviantart.com/a…
Actually review starts here:
Note: I read the translated version of this book.
There is one word I think is the most suitable for this supposed Alice in Wonderland retelling, and this word is ridiculous.
(1) Calling this book an Alice-retelling is equals to lying. All of the Alice-references are so poorly done and senseless (a bunch of teenagers throwing a regular beer-and-disco-music party is equaled to the Mad Tea Party, great isn't it?) it feels more like an insult to the original text than a respectful homage.
(2) This book is more about stupid teenage high school drama and over-the-top love triangles than Alice. I'm not kidding.
(3) The heroine Alice (aka Ali) spends a lot of time drooling over the masculine bad boy love interest Cole and fantasizing about making out with him (again I'm not kidding) than grieving over her dead family and worrying about the crisis of zombies going around eating people for dinner.
(4) As to the zombies....they only have spiritual forms and they are 'eating' the goodness in people then in turn making them zombies too. Why would they do this? Because they are evil. Not because they are hungry or need human flesh to keep their bodies functional.
Zombies with no physical forms? Zombies who eat people because they are evil!? Then why would those creatures be zombies at all? Why don't call those creatures 'phantoms' or 'wraiths' instead? Is the author so eager to ride the success of the recent zombie hyper, e.g. The Walking Dead and all those zombie movies out there?
(5) All the bullshit about Christianity and God and Good vs. Evil
I know, the heroine and her family are Christians, but must she keep talking nonsense about God so very often? I mean, do real-life Christians talk like this? It's so annoying.
To make thing worse, even Christian rock bands get mentioned here and there. *facepalms*
And the nonsense about how the war between zombies and people who can 'see' them is the epic Good vs. Evil battle is also annoying as hell.
(6) The basic concepts about man-eating monsters and people who fought them could have worked out just fine if the author actually has some basic writing skill and style to save her life. But she doesn't, so the entire story turns out to be very flat, toneless and fake. The heroine lost her entire family? Monsters stalking her and wanting to eat people? I never felt worry about her and her friends, the writing is just that bad.
(7) Last but not least, the heroine's dear dead mother taught her teenage daughter that her virginity is a gift when the good woman was alive.
Okay, I'm alright with the 'don't do it when you are not ready and certain' message, but what the actual fuck about this 'virginity is a gift/valuable' BS? It's just downright backward and sexist. Have you ever heard a guy's virginity is a gift before? No? Like never? Now can you see what I mean?